About Me

My photo
Not too old. Not too young. Not way too fat. Not very skinny. Not a bad cook, but not great. Not too healthy but not bed-ridden. Sorta boring but kinda fun.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Who invented Headaches?

I think that's a pretty valid question. Did God figure we needed a little one-two punch to slow us down so we'd appreciate our lives? Did he pick up Eve, give her a good solid shake, thus rattling her noodle when she ate that fruit? Then Eve, being the lovely sharing girl that she was, passed that noodle-rattle on to all us girls? She messed things up for us, ladies. Before she made that fateful faux pas we didn't have to bother with bra's that feel like giant rubber bands, no laundry, no ironing, no cooking, no housecleaning (gardens in paradise are notoriously self cleaning) and our Adam's weren't always mad at us for talking them into being stupid too. I think God musta given Adam a faulty backbone. Come to think of it, only way I can talk MY Adam into doing anything is to bribe him with biscuits. Hmmm.  I digress (enrich your wordpower).

I've had stinkin' Migrain's for 10+ years. Some are just nagging.  "Hello. I've come to worry you into thinking I'm gonna get out of hand. Does this bug you? Does this bug you? Does this bug you?". Others are Show Stoppers. "I'm gonna slap you silly and make you wish you were born a worm (no heads). Don't even THINK of enjoying anything ." Then there's the fateful Stompers. "You, my dear witless victim, are going to sleep for days. Fall off toilets. Throw up and smack your head on the toilet rim (bwaahaha, double whammy!) Live in a dark cave with sunglasses on and disappear from life for days on end."

This week I've been visited by the Show Stopper variety. Daytime is pretty slow. Gotta keep my movements to the turtle speed. But nights have been cooking up closer to the Stomper show. Sunglasses in the dark. TV on low. Ice packs. And my second best friend-Phenargen. I reserve the first best friend spot for, insert heavenly music here,  Percocet.

Even feeling crummy I'm thankful. I'm thankful it's not worse. I've had some doozies. But I'm also thankful for those doozies.! 5 years ago this month I was in the hospital cause one was being so hateful to me. The powers that be did an MRI to be sure I didn't have a bleed. No bleed but it showed a small anyrism. (spell check doesn't work here). Went to some specialist high mucky muck doc in Indy and voila! it had gotten bigger. Bigger ain't better in all circles. So a couple weeks later he warmed up his chainsaw and stapled that sucker. Done! Whew.

Thus the best headache story ever....After surgery I'm still fairly wobbly, using a walker and I had a Stomper. I toddled off the the bathroom to kneel before the porcelain alter. I'm in there yacking up from deep down in the toe area and whacked my "dent" on the edge of the alter, hard enough to throw me backwards into the wall, thumped the BACK of my head against the wall, thumped my behind to the floor and promptly wet myself. All I could think was Moe, Larry and Curly got nothin' on me. I'm laughing so hard my poor, worried Mom comes flyin in. She finds me, Frankenstein face, sitting on the floor, in a puddle, the walker on top of me (knocked it over in the melee) laughing like the village idiot. Oh, sweet dignity, forever lost.

Like Ian says, "Everything's fun!".


  1. Tell me about it! I hate headaches!
    Hope you get feeling better!

  2. I hope your headache starts feeling better. They are awful!

  3. Oh Girl....it just made my head hurt to READ this post!!!! I hate it that you have to suffer like that. I'm so sorry.

    I can't get over how much we have in common!!!! I almost ended up in So. Indiana this weekend. I was gonna call ya up. STILL NEEDING TO EMAIL YOU...I"m so sorry. I've been so busy, no excuse...but I will get on top of things very soon!